Seattle Lutheran Eyewitness News, by Hailey Miller

This is Hailey reporting pre-recorded on the Seattle Lutheran Eyewitness News

Hailey: A puppy was saved late October by three daring students here at Seattle Lutheran. Megan is on the scene at this time with the details. Megan?

Megan: I am on the corner where the three women noticed a limping dog in the middle of the street. They say that they were walking around the block for PE when they noticed the runaway dog. Said one of the students Angel Cucio, “I couldn’t just leave him there, you know?”

Hailey: And it was a good thing she didn’t!

Megan: Thankfully, another one of the girls, Emma Heusel, checked the dog for a tag, and the three were able to return the dog home safely. *gets uncomfortably close to the recorder* All with the school’s permission, of course.

Hailey: Hahaha of course! And you said there were three girls?

Megan: Yes. The third girl, who decided to stay anonymous, *coughhaileycough* had apparently *squints at a piece of paper she takes out of her pocket* cowered in a corner until she realized she wouldn’t be bitten and later repeatedly yelled, “I’ve got the rope!”

Hailey: The rope that was used for the lead to take the dog home, I presume?

Megan: The very same. I’m Megan Burnett, broadcasting pre-recorded, on the Lion’s Roar Eyewitness News.

Hailey: Thank you Megan. *stands up, pushes desk/table aside, and points to stuff now written on a whiteboard, moving her arm as she points things out* (write-selfies, selfies, selfies, roanoke/croatoan, celebrities, dead, humanity or something along those lines) In other news: Obama takes selfies, there are apparently correct and incorrect ways to take selfies, Obama took selfies at a funeral, there are new leads in the Roanoke case making historians believe that ‘croatoan’ is actually a place and not…something…else…, celebrities are doing messed up stuff, people are dead, and lastly that almost all faith in humanity is lost. By me. This is the first time I’ve ever actually had to read from multiple news sites and there is a lot of horrible stuff going on. And now to Megan with the weather.

*camera noticeably swings over to Megan, who is on the other half of the whiteboard with a badly drawn cloud and a sun. She has a red marker*

Megan: *sarcasm* What great news Hailey. *a muffled “thank you!” comes from off-screen* And now, the weather. *she takes the red marker and circles the cloud and x’s out the sun* It’s going to be cold this week. And next week. And also the week after that because it’s December—did you think it was going to be sunny? *starts drawing people under the cloud*

Hailey: *runs into the frame and lightly pushes Megan away* Ooookay, I think that’s enough of the weather for now. *checks wrist. There’s no watch * Oh look at the time! It seems our short News Segment is over. And remember to comment, listeners! Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

Megan: *from offscreen* Or whatever you celebrate.

Hailey: Yes, or any other Holiday you might celebrate. Happy Holidays! *pause* This is Hailey Miller, signing off,  for the Lion’s Roar Eyewitness News *stands there with smile uncomfortably*

Megan: *from offstage* I think you should turn off the camera now.

Cameraperson: Oh, right.

SCREEN GOES BLACK. THE END.