A Somewhat-Civilized, Not-Too-Rant-Like Valentine’s Day Expository, by Hailey Miller

 Ugh. The Day  is coming  again.

 Valentine’s  Day.

 Before I really  delve into this  topic, I would  like to apologize to any of you people out there who actually enjoy Valentine’s Day. I have found that most people either like Valentine’s Day or they really dislike it. Dislike to the point of borderline hatred. I am one of those people, and no, I am not a lonely, bitter person who can’t stand any sort of romance whatsoever, why does everyone automatically start thinking that?!

Ahem.

Let me begin.

I have always hated Valentine’s Day, and I am not 100% sure why. Perhaps it is the smell of cheap, plastic-like chocolate and construction paper—except, hold on a minute; nobody even bothers to MAKE THEIR OWN CARDS ANYMORE. So I guess it couldn’t be the construction paper and school glue smell mixed with the scent of crayon. It couldn’t be. Nobody even bothered to write out a sincere, meaningful letter anyway. They just bought one of those mass-produced cards from the nearest Target or Safeway.

On a side note, what is the appeal of crayons? They are waxy and annoying and they leave holes in your drawing everywhere and the only way it can possibly look good is if you are purposely trying to make it look sketched, if you are a young child, or if you use a heated surface to melt the wax as you draw.

Anyway, back to Valentine’s Day. Maybe I dislike Valentine’s day because of the utter carelessness of which many have towards giving a gift. Who even uses that ridiculous stuffed animal with little hearts on it unless it is meaningful to them? Find a gift that they’ll actually use, or enjoy, or at the very least will appreciate for over two days.

Needless to say, the thought of Valentine Day repulses me. Don’t get me wrong here, I am not a hater of romance. But somebody even says the words “Valentine’s Day” and I cringe. Isn’t it sad that we need a day to show that we love another person? Shouldn’t you show that you care about your partner other times too? Everyone is trying to prove themselves to their partners on Valentine’s Day, but are they doing it for the right reasons? Why would we feel the need to prove ourselves in the first place?

The fact of the matter is that Valentine’s Day is not about buying things. It is not about proving yourself to your partner. It is about showing those you love that you care. It doesn’t even have to be to your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Last of all, if you are in a relationship, please try not to make this holiday harder for everyone else. It’s all fine and dandy to be happy that you are with someone, or to appreciate the fact that you have loved ones around you, but please, please, try not to go too overboard. This is not a best couple’s competition. I repeat; if you are with someone, remember that you are not in a competition, and that you are not, in fact, obligated to stare into each other’s eyes as you ride off into the sunset. Or whatever people are supposed to do in a relationship. Gaze into each other’s souls with all the adoration of female spiders ready to devour their husbands so they can sustain their own lives for longer? I don’t know.

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On an unrelated note, did you know that cashews actually are seeds? From a FRUIT?