News Haiku: Issue 4, by Garth Ball

Here at The Lion’s Roar, we know you’re much too busy to pay much attention to the news. Either that, or you’re too lazy. Maybe both; it’s a thin line. In any case, here’s the quick-and-dirty version of the major U.S. and world news from the past academic quarter. In haiku form.


Nigerian girls

Extremists want prisoners

Can hashtags save them?




Net neutrality!

Soon it will be gone, gone, gone.

Friends, the end is nigh



Say what, Supreme Court?

Money is speech??? For realzies???

Sometimes I just… *sigh*




Racism all ’round!

Donald Sterling? Clive Bundy?

Hooray for progress!



Hillary Clinton!!!


…little too soon for that.




Ukraine, continued:

East separatists want to be

Putin to Russia



Wow. I’m sorry guys.

Mostly sad, not too funny.

But hey y’all! Guess what?


Schoooooool’s ouuuuut… for… summerrrrr…

*Electric guitar solo*

Schoooooool’s ouuuuuuut… for… summerrrrr…



(Almost. Hang in there.

Even though everything sucks,

Schoooooool’s ouuuuut… for… summerrrr….)