The Lion’s Roar, Volume II Issue I

Volume II, Issue I

Welcome to The Lion’s Roar, Seattle Lutheran’s premier (and only) student-produced newspaper. Here, you will find coverage of the news from reviews to sports highlights, from editorials to exclusive interviews. The Lion’s Roar seeks to provide quality art and articles through the lens of Seattle Lutheran students. At The Lion’s Roar, we’re dedicated to serving YOU, the Seattle Lutheran community. As the author John Grogan said, “Twenty-six letters form the foundation of a free, informed society.”

Archives: Vol. I, Is. I, Vol. I, Is. II, Vol. I, Is. III, Vol. I, Is. IV

Co-editors:

JT Gallant ’16 is a Senior at SLHS and enjoys participating in athletics, contributing to the Lion’s Roar and playing chess.

Avalee Fray-McCroskey ’17 is a junior at Seattle Lutheran High School. She likes to spend her weekends cheering, acting, writing things for the amazing school newspaper and changing into her alternate persona, an amazing punk rock SUPERHERO!! Every time she changes her hair she gets a new superpower!

Contributors

Ben Comer is a Junior, new to the Seattle Lutheran program, who just learned that the keys on a keyboard make strange symbols appear on the monitor. He is in awe of this and has yet to write anything meaningful using this discovery instead writing some of what you see above you. His favorite pastimes are watching sports, swimming and yelling at Derrick Rose every time he gets injured (his throat is often sore).

Elizabeth Coy is a senior at Seattle Lutheran High School and this is her first year writing for the newspaper. She also plays volleyball, is in the Key Club, and the Sailing Club.

Zac Gorman, also known as “Gac Zorman,” this writer enjoys talking about the media such as the newest movies, interesting stories, and even reviews and opinions. He has respect for the film business as he wishes to one day write for Hollywood or low-key be a director of his own stories; Bringing pen to paper, then paper to the big screen.

Alex Melchoir is a self-proclaimed bounty hunter and space cop from the Galaxy of Kerbal-49. He enjoys long walks on the beach with middle aged women who find investing in his endeavors worthwhile. Currently, he resides in West Seattle. Alex claims to be a protagonist in a movement to preach equity. He plans on building a globalized, monopolistic, empire and redistributing the worlds wealth rightfully.

Aaron Pena is a seventeen-year-old with the same carnal urges as the rest of you. He has lived his whole life in Seattle, though he’s from a Mexican family (he even knows how to speak Español). His hobbies include League of Legends, binge-watching Netflix, reading, figuring out how to make school more of a challenge through procrastination, and sitting. Aaron loves talking about controversial topics because it’s quite entertaining to see people all fired up.

Michael Scott is 14, a Freshy at Seattle Lutheran High School, his favorite hobby is soccer. He also has a fondness for Skittles as they are very rainbow-like, and who doesn’t like rainbows?! His favorite fruit happens to be pineapple, any flavor. Personally he doesn’t like being woken up on weekends by dad. (Does this ever happen to any of you?) He puts on pants one leg at a time and thinks the meaning of life is to interact, and lucky numbers are 01, 43, 67, 90, 28.

Rex Sears is a sophomore, and is not commonly seen outside of a coat. He really doesn’t do anything productive, despite all his free time. It is most common to see him complaining about politics, comics, creepy pastas, and really the most minor of daily complications. He is incapable of not injuring himself on something, and over-dramatizing said event, at least seven times a day.

Faculty Advisor Mr. Wilson

“Every freshman on our team has potential through the roof.”

Photo from SportspressNW.com

By Ari Koslow

Seattle, WA January 12, 2016–Andrew Andrews is a senior at the University of Washington. He plays point guard and shooting guard for the basketball team. He grew up in Portland, Oregon and went to high school at Benson Tech in Portland. He redshirted his freshman year after undergoing off-season hip surgery. As a redshirt freshman, he played thirty-one games and ended up playing the tenth most minutes by a UW freshman. In his sophomore year, he played and started in thirty-two games. Andrews averaged twelve points, four rebounds, and about three assists his sophomore season. He was co-captain his junior year and was named Pac-12 Player of the Week his junior year after scoring a career-high of thirty-five points against Washington State on February 22, 2015. I recently met with him and talked about his basketball career.

Ari: What has been the most memorable moment in your college career?

Andrew: The most memorable moment in my career was last year when I scored 35 points and hit the game-winning shot against the Cougars.

Ari: Okay second question, what kind of influence has Coach Romar had on you?

Andrew: Coach Romar has had a huge influence on me on and off the court. He has been like a father-figure towards me.

Ari: Who do you look up to the most in the NBA?

Andrew: I have always loved and looked up to Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Ari: Well you both are great shooters! Okay next question, who do you think is the toughest person to defend in the Pac-12?

Andrew: I’m not quite sure yet. We have yet to play everyone in the Pac-12 this year so I can’t really answer that quite yet.

Ari: What are some things you do to prepare for each game in the season?

Andrew: I listen to music before every game and warm up about two hours before every game.

Ari: Wow, that’s a long time before the game! My next question is who has been the most influential person in your life?

Andrew: My mom hands down. She has been with me through all the tough times.

Ari: Sounds like you have a great relationship with her! I was curious on what the recruiting process looked like when Coach Romar recruited you. Did he come to your house?

Andrew: He was a very genuine guy. Yes he did come to my house and he was able to relate with my family right away.

Ari: Wow sounds like a very nice guy! I see that your free throw percentage has increased in each of your first 3 years of college? Are free throws something you work on every day?

Andrew: Yes I shoot a bunch of free throws every day. I always make sure I make ten free throws in a row before leaving the gym.

Ari: Well the practice has definitely paid off! I understand that a few of your teammates transferred out of the University of Washington this past year. Did any other colleges reach out to you about transferring to them?

Andrew: Yes a few teams reached out to me but I’m not able to speak about which specific teams reached out.

Ari: During practices, do you typically help out the younger guys or do you let them learn the plays on their own?

Andrew: Yes and no. I help out with the plays if they go to the wrong spot but they are typically solid on learning the plays on their own.

Ari: Sounds like a good practice! It seems like after the last two games, this team is starting to click a lot better. Do you think all the freshmen on this team have good potential?

Andrew: Yes every freshman on this team has potential through the roof.

Ari: I can see why after watching this team play. Who do you think is the best leader you have played with at UW?

Andrew: I think the best leader I have played with at UW has got to be either Darnell Gant or Abdul Gaddy.

Ari: They do seem like great leaders! Okay last question, how has the chemistry been in the locker room? The team had nine guys come in this year all from different high schools with different backgrounds. How do all these different players interact in the locker room?

Andrew: The chemistry has been great with this team this year. Each and every player has been getting along and we can relate to each other very well.

Ari: Sounds like great team chemistry. Thanks again for taking time to answer my questions!

Andrew Andrews looks forward to leading the Huskies to their first NCAA tournament appearance in four years. He is the leader of the team full of freshmen and sophomores. Andrew Andrews needs to continue to show his great leadership if the Huskies are going to make the tournament.

Read Receipts: The Art of Spite

By J.T. Gallant

The courting of teenage girls is an arduous and emotionally exhausting task, and not for the weary of confidence and utter nonsensicality. Girls are complex creatures seemingly hell-bent on confusing us simple boys; our needs, of course, basically consisting of just mere hunger and unquenchable lust. Dastardly as they have proved might and might again, females have taken advantage of one of the most indispensably evil and infuriating tools at their disposal: read receipts.

Eternally and unyieldingly intertwined with iMessages on the iPhone, there are few happenings more damningly annoying than a read receipt with no subsequent response. They are cold reminders of the cruelty and gamesmanship of teenage dating. As one may have gleaned, I, as many others do, have the unfortunate tendency to interpret read receipts as slights. Sending an unprovoked follow-up text is my first inclination, but this is generally perceived as needy and desperate in the cruel dispositions of females. Girls, devoid of all mercy and logic as they be, are oftentimes not actually intending to infuriate us simpleton boys; usually, they just forget to respond or get distracted by something. Most are not the raging sirens I have painted the entirety out to be thus far in this essay.

As such, it is important to remember that most girls do not find joy in purposely reading and not responding, and that it is almost always best to just let it go. Three examples of why this is almost always the best course of action:

You figure she is playing games with you, so you decide to start playing games back: “I was just wondering because I fooled around with your ex-boyfriend last night.” This is sure to confuse her, making her wonder why she likes men in the first place.
You jokingly text her, “I’m going to kill you!?”. This turns out to be extremely awkward because she was hit by a bus when she read your text as she crossed the street. The police will also definitely find this extremely awkward.
You figure she lost service. You text her “Clearly your using Virgin.”, referring to Virgin Mobile. However, detecting a lacking grasp of English grammar, she subconsciously inserts an “a” into that sentence, causing her to find a new potential BAE.

These are only a small number of presumably countless examples of why one’s most advantageous option is almost certainly and undoubtedly to merely let it be.

Senioritis

By Elizabeth Coy

Senioritis is a term to describe the way high school seniors feel when their graduation is approaching. It involves laziness, excessive wear of sweatpants and sweatshirts, and usually a drop in grades. If you are a senior, you may have already noticed symptoms; I know I have. Let’s face it, we all get super lazy in school and don’t want to do our homework or pay attention in class. You may think I am just joking about this Senioritis thing, but it really can have bad consequences. Some high schoolers have gotten accepted into colleges and then blown off the rest of their senior year; their acceptances were, in turn, revoked. Seniors, when the time comes, don’t think that just because you got into a college that the rest of the year doesn’t matter. You could be one of those students, and you definitely don’t want to be. Here is my advice: (even though I probably won’t even take it myself) if you notice yourself getting overly lazy, getting behind on way too many assignments, or starting to not care about your future, talk to your parents so they know what’s going on. They might laugh at you, but inform them that Senioritis is a serious affliction that affects millions of high school seniors every year. Also, teachers, please don’t give us a lot of homework so we can focus on battling this deadly disease.

Why Your NFL Team Won’t Win the Super Bowl (composed in October 2015)

By Ben Comer

There are many crazy sports fans. Some take their love for their city’s team a bit too far while others just want to see their team win but shrug it off when they lose. Let’s hope you’re the latter because your team is going to lose. It’s just about inevitable. We Seahawks fans have already experienced it in our first game, our crushing loss to the Rams in St. Louis. But there is some hope: the Super Bowl awaits, and it’s up for grabs to anyone who wants it. Heck, we could even see a Jaguars-Buccaneers match up. OK, well maybe not, but the point is that while every team has a chance to getting to the big game, there’s a much bigger chance of your team not getting there. This is why your NFL team will not win Super Bowl L. I’ll be posting one issue every month from October to January, with two divisions contained in each. We’ll start with the Northern divisions of both the NFC and the AFC.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens

The Ravens, after losing to the undefeated Cardinals in Week 7, are now sitting at 3-4 back in Baltimore a week later to face the Chargers in a must-win game. They huddle up in the locker room, and team captain Joe Flacco launches into an impassioned and inspired speech. Javorious Allen closes his eyes listens intently. Steve Smith Sr. sheds a tear. Ray Rice finally remembers that not only is he RAY RICE, but an apparently intoxicated RAY RICE, and begins to wildly throw punches, one of which concussed Joe Flacco. Rice is subsequently arrested, but the damage is done. The Matt Schaub-led Ravens lose, and go on to end the season with an 8-8 record, only one win away from making the playoffs. Roger Goodell sentences Ray Rice to the death penalty, but an independent appeal committee finds that Roger Goodell can’t actually sentence players to death. Rice is then unsuspended from the NFL and signed by Arizona.

Cincinnati Bengals

Now, don’t get me wrong. The Bengals are a great team. A.J. Green is a stud. Andy Dalton, drafted as the 35^th overall draft pick by the Bengals in the 2011 NFL draft, is nicknamed “Red Rocket” for his flaming-red hair. Dalton is the only quarterback in Cincinnati history to lead his team to the playoffs four consecutive years so he should have no problem getting there for a fifth appearance this season, right? Right, but the problem is that in his four playoff appearances, Dalton is 0 of 4, choking in each and every game. This year, in the divisional round against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dalton manages to throw seven interceptions, fumbles it twice, and seemingly single-handedly manages to lose the game for his team, 24-3. This prompts The Cincinnati Enquirer to enquire about finding a quarterback with more “soul.”

Cleveland Browns

Johnny Manziel has made a concerted effort to rid himself of the old “Johnny Football” mantra that once followed him around, and it seems that this has been a success thus far given that he threw a touchdown pass (finally) and earned a starting spot. But, with all the media attention he is getting and the commercial money he is earning, do you really think that this kid won’t go back to being Johnny “Money” Manziel again? Well, the Browns won’t win the Super Bowl because his ego will spike in an equal-parts glorious and hideous implosion of epic, Johnny Football ego-sized proportions. The Browns will have compiled at least a mediocre record, only to shrivel back into obscurity once more. Long live the Mistake by the Lake!

Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers are kind of ridiculous. They have LeVeon Bell, Antonio Brown, and Ben Roeslithberger at the three most important offensive positions, not to mention a defense that’s getting into a nice rhythm. But that’s nothing when you see what else Mike Tomlin has up his sleeve. The Steelers execute a series of mid-season trades that net them Rob Gronkowski, Odell Beckham Jr, and the entire Cowboys’ offensive line. They literally create the best offense football has ever seen. All they had to do is give up all of their defensive starters and special teams guys. Oh no. The Steelers average 153 points after these trades, but give up 167 points per game as well, by trotting out a reformed punter at mid-linebacker, Mike Tomlin at cornerback, and a long-snapper at literally every other position. The best offensive team to ever play in the NFL goes 7-9 to end the season, missing the playoffs entirely.

NFC North

Detroit Lions

The Detroit Lions have a miraculous season, enough to get into the playoffs as the second seed in the NFC. Their first round match-up is against the Rams, who barely made it to the playoffs as the sixth and final team. The game begins, when suddenly, a shriek is heard from above the stadium. It is the Mayor of Detroit, Mike Duggan, speaking in a low, somber voice. “Good evening, everyone,” he says, “and welcome to the first annual Detroit Hunger Games. We ran out of money, so we’re putting on this giant event in order to raise profits through pay-per-view TV and heavy product placement. The winner of this will receive a ten-dollar coupon to Papa Murphie’s, the best Take n’ Bake pizza in the world. Now, let the Hasbro games begin, and may the odds (presented to you by Oddsshark) be ever in your favor. And don’t forget to go see Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part II in a theater near you.” Nick Foles eats literally everyone.

Green Bay Packers

Still reeling from their shocking defeat in the NFC Championship Game to the Seahawks, the Packers strike against football in October after a tough loss to the Rams, who took out the Seahawks just a few weeks earlier. A reporter from FOX News asks linebacker Clay Matthews why the Packers are picketing, and what they’re even picketing against. “Well,” he says, “me and my fellow defenders were in Pitch Perfect 2, you know, and we feel like we should’ve won that a cappella competition.” This was met with some confusion from some of his teammates, as that was not what they were actually picketing. The Seahawks responded by giving them a Participation Award in the mail, mostly to piss them off some more. “I feel like they’re just trolling us at this point, and we shouldn’t have to take it,” says kicker Mason Crosby. The Packers flounder to a 4-12 record, and miss the playoffs. Brett Farve decides to come out of retirement for the 17th time to compete for the starting spot against Aaron Rogers next year.

Minnesota Vikings

It was a sad day on Sunday, September 20^th for the Vikings. Yes, it was the first home game played by Adrian Peterson in almost 2 years, due to a year-long suspension last season. Yes, the Vikings did get a memorable win against the Detroit Lions. And their sophomore quarterback, Teddy Bridgewater, had a sharp outing. But one particular man did not come back: The mascot. According to kare11, Ragnar, one of the Vikings’ mascots, did not show up, as he was apparently let go due to a contract negotiation issue where he wanted $20,000 per game over ten seasons. When you do the math, that’s $1.6 million (he only does home games). Now, I imagine that’s be a pretty solid gig, considering the money you make, am I right? Well, the other Vikings players seem to think so. One by one, they quit their current jobs (due to longevity) to try to get the part. First comes Phil Loadholt, an unessential part of the equation for the Vikings at this point. Then comes Charles Johnson, their top receiver, followed by Josh Robinson. Soon enough, everyone has left except for Adrian Peterson. The Vikings staff struggle to come up with ideas to keep the football team going, so they just decide to have everyone who auditioned for the part of Ragnar be in a mascot-racing-dancing-boxing thing. The Vikings rescind their participation in the NFL.

Chicago Bears

Jay Cutler. Enough said.

So if you’re rooting for one of those teams, stop now. There’s obviously no point whatsoever in doing so, and you’ll just wait your time, because in the end, they won’t win it all, and you’ll be left with feelings of disappointment, hatred, and betrayal when they lose their last game. Last year, you joined one of literally every other team besides the Patriots as a loser, and you can go on despising Tom Brady and posting his picture on a dart board. Or you can quit loving your team forever, and simply succumb to a state of not caring. Either way, your team is not going to win it this year.

Three Movies Every Seattleite Must See

By Zac Gorman

CHRONICLE (2012)

Chronicle is a found-footage film set in – you guessed it – Seattle. It follows the life of a student, Andrew, who has a violent father and an ill mother. Andrew struggles with depression so I don’t think the Northwest weather helped cheer him up much. One night after a local party Andrew storms off into the woods and finds two other boys – Matt, and Steve. Events lead to other events, and the three boys eventually find themselves wandering around in strange cave. Coming across a large crystal inside a cavern, they touch it and immediately pass out. Later in the film, they discover they each possess newfound powers, such as telekinesis or flight. The thing that makes Chronicle such an interesting movie is that it’s a superhero movie without the heroes. It takes a spin on the genre and replaces heroes with random teens, and the movie makes you think, “What would I really do if I could fly?” There is even a pretty intense scene set around the Space Needle!

Rating: 8.2/10

HARRY & THE HENDERSONS (1987)

We all know who and what Bigfoot is, but what we don’t know is what he does. This film casts Bigfoot as a family-friendly beast instead of a horrifying, towering, Sasquatchian man-eater. It’s a pretty cheesy movie, but it’s not unwatchable. Harry (Bigfoot) is played by Kevin Hall, who you may recognize as the “monster” in movies such as Predator, Without Warning and some movie called Monster in the Closet. The movie follows the Hendersons, a pretty generic family that goes on a camping trip. On the road trip home, they accidentally run over Bigfoot (a pretty common problem), so they take a knocked-out Bigfoot home with them wanting to prove that Sasquatch is real. Long story short, the family eventually realizes that Harry isn’t actually a monster and adopt him as one of their own. Many scenes are shot from noticeable places in Seattle instead of a cardboard set, which is cool because you can be all like, “Hey, that was in a movie… I’m, like, half-famous!” when you see those places. In the end, Harry & the Hendersons is a film that’s only good because it’s set in the best city in America – Seattle.

Rating: 6.8/10

THE RING (2002)

The Ring is a remake of the Japanese film Ringu, but before I even talk about this movie, you should know it’s extremely creepy. It’s not exactly bloody or anything like that; it’s just plain unsettling. It stretches the boundaries of its PG-13 rating to the limit, so if you’re the kind of person who gets spooked easily, just stick with Harry. Now, this version of The Ring was made before the downward trend of bad movie remakes began, so good for them, I guess. For a scary movie with a PG-13 rating, The Ring sure does seem to know how to get the maximum amount of screams. As far as horror movies go, The Ring gets very creative with its story and all the twists. The plot centers around a woman named Rachelle who comes in contact with an old tape titled “The Ring” that causes the deaths of those who watch it. She is then tasked with finding out how to stop the deaths and find out the secrets of the ring. The thing I like most about this film is how well it avoids many horror movie tropes and clichés, making it a smart movie. I definitely suggest it if you are looking for something in the horror genre with a little more dazzle.

Rating: 7.9/10