The Lion’s Roar Volume II, Issue III
Welcome to The Lion’s Roar, Seattle Lutheran’s premier (and only) student-produced newspaper. Here, you will find coverage of the news from reviews to sports highlights, from editorials to exclusive interviews. The Lion’s Roar seeks to provide quality art and articles through the lens of Seattle Lutheran students. At The Lion’s Roar, we’re dedicated to serving YOU, the Seattle Lutheran community. As the author John Grogan said, “Twenty-six letters form the foundation of a free, informed society.”
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Frankly with Francis Playing the Part: Augmented Combat
By Alexander Francis Melchior
In this multi-part series of Frankly with Francis, I will be teaching you my way of living the dream – through denial and re-creating one’s reality – which starts with playing the part.
You hate dealing with your parents when they are being completely unreasonable. You hate the ridiculous standards and requests they make. Ultimately, you find it hard to swallow your pride and comply with them. If this is you, take the next few minutes to really sit down and take in the wisdom I am going to give you on playing the part, being manipulative and staying several moves ahead of your parents.
Let’s start with your habit to overreact: The moment you interrupt, raise your voice, stomp your foot or throw your hands in the air, you lose. Staying calm is key. The best way to combat your natural self-defense mechanism to get frustrated is by taking one very deep breath right after your parents say something that might set you off. This may seem way too simple or too easy, but I can tell you, based off of my own experiences, that it works. Taking that simple moment to fully understand what they are saying and formulate your best response will be tremendously beneficial for you. Furthermore, the person who witnesses you taking a deep breath will mistakenly perceive the act as a sign of acknowledgement and maturity. Once they comprehend that, the field is now leveled in your favor.
The next step is being unreasonably biased against yourself. Criticizing yourself may feel odd, but there is actually a lot of self-relief in doing it. Once you stop and realize that you may possibly be at fault, a sense of ownership and accountability is achieved. This way of thinking may be confusing, but that is just because you have never thought about it from this point of view. Imagine yourself as a new person every day: You are ever-changing. Every activity, decision or thought was carried out by a different version of yourself. So when you make inevitable mistakes, such as forgetting to put away the dishes or force-feeding your little sister’s pet chickens some leftover chicken wings from dinner, do yourself a favor and blame it all on the person you once were, not who you are now.
Why is this the most obscure yet effective way of handling this? Well, the answer is very simple: You get to keep your arrogant and prideful ideology that you are perfect in every way while your parents get to hear the glorious words “I was wrong.”
Bernie Bros and the Blame Game
Things are heating up in the political sphere as the electoral process chugs along. In the Democratic primaries, Hillary Clinton is the clear front-runner over self-described socialist Bernie Sanders, but the gap is closing for her. Bernie basically drew a tie with her in Iowa (Clinton won by a fifth of a percentage point) and destroyed her in New Hampshire. Clinton has the clear support of the black, female and older demographics, but Bernie maintains a strong support base in the younger and whiter Democratic pool.
Over the past month or so, however, Sanders’ supporters have been accused of being sexist, being called “Bernie Bros” or “Bernie-bots” by Clinton supporters. The term “Bernie Bro” is used to describe a Sanders supporter who is white, young and prone to making derogatory statements regarding Clinton’s campaign in order to discredit her. On February 7th, Bill Clinton attacked these people for doing such things, but this is not warranted – at least based on the response from the Sanders campaign. Sanders himself has responded to a question about sexist supporters of his by saying, “I don’t want them. That is not what this campaign is about.” Mike Casca, Bernie’s social media manager, posted a message on Twitter stating, “if you support @berniesanders, please follow the senator’s lead and be respectful when people disagree with you.” While there is validity to the statement that Bernie supporters are being derogatory towards Clinton supporters, the Sanders campaign has been vehemently against such comments.
So where do these accusations rise from? They obviously have some truth behind them (try Googling “Bernie Bros” and looking at the images that pop up), but they are more than just derogatory statements. People will use anything in their power to persuade people to join their their side, and the fear of being sexist is (at least for progressives) a nightmare. However, using Hillary’s gender to challenge her electability is not the best route to take – especially when looking at her policies and ideals. She is undeniably a great candidate, and her campaign should not use Bernie’s gender as an attack point because being one gender does not make you better suited for presidency than someone of the other.
Playing the Blame game from either side, whether it be telling women to “stop voting with their vaginas” or calling a Bernie supporter a “Bernie Bro” will not help anyone. Vote with your love for one candidate – not your hatred for another.
Ignorance Abroad: Creepypasta
by Rex Sears
Creepypasta is considered to be the modern-day equivalent to tales told around the campfire: a term given to “horror” stories posted on the Internet. Creepypastas have become quite notorious during the relatively short while they have been around to the point that they now have their own wiki as well as numerous games and amateur movies. Unfortunately, the vast majority of these stories are disgraces to literature and, oftentimes, the mere concept of language.
Quite surprisingly (or perhaps not, considering we live in the “Age of Trolls”), the most popular of these stories are oftentimes the most atrocious. For example, let’s take the story “Jeff the Killer.” It is truly one of the worst works of writing I have ever read. The most preposterous event is when, in a brawl against bullies, Jeff has a bottle of vodka smashed on his head and is soaked in bleach. He is then set on fire, which apparently bleaches his skin white and dyes his hair black. Jeff then cuts a smile into his face, kills his family and goes on to become a murderer. The author clearly does not know neither basic science nor how to research a subject as bleach is approximately 80% water, which would cause the already-small flame to go out. That’s not even scratching the surface of the plethora of problems this story has.
If these stories are so horrendous, then how do they procure fanbases? In order to know that, one must firstly look at the age of many of these readers. It will be found that many readers are preteens-to-teens, meaning that they are in a period of life when many wish to be treated more like adults. If they do not feel like they are getting this desired treatment, they can feel hostile towards the party denying the treatment. So, when a story about, say, a teenaged murderer appears, featuring graphic descriptions of death befalling bullies and/or adults, they get a feeling of what they think is maturity. Unfortunately, maturity typically does not involve the satisfaction of seeing a fictional person, reminiscent of someone they know in real life who inhibits or disagrees with them, receive comeuppance. That is typically known as “immaturity.”
Another important question: Who makes these kinds of stories? Surely, not all of them can be made by teens in particularly dark periods of angst. From the way some stories are written, the impression is that the authors have some kind of personal experience with the subjects featured. Therefore, I believe that these writings are the result of the key problem about Creepypasta in general: there are no real moderators or proofreaders for any of these stories. That means that anyone, regardless of experience in writing or knowledge of the writing process, can just shoot out a story. If someone wants to work on their writing skills… Well, that’s what sites like fanfiction.net are for.
At the end of the day, I suppose the lesson of this article is this: Keep high standards when it comes to writing. If you want to publish a story, then get it continually proofread by different people, make improvements to the story and “rinse and repeat” until your hands are nice, red and raw. Also, pro-tip: Don’t look up fan art of any creepypastas. Ever. Your retinas will scream and burn themselves out.
Penelope, Adrift by J.T. Gallant
Alas, I am Penelope.
If only I was united with my husband, great Odysseus.
Twenty long years I have waited for his triumphant return,
For he and his crew basked in the glory of gods at Troy,
But come home they have yet to do.
Yet as hope dwindles, so do my remaining years,
As Ithaca itself dies, my body dies as well.
Surely I would know if great Odysseus has passed?
For I am his loyal wife forever,
Until Death greets me with arms out wide.
I will keep sentry here in my room;
Odysseus, hear me now, as your equal in torment!
Every living breath you surrender to the world,
Stems the flow of depression that threatens to envelop me.
Every frothing wave crashing violently onto the rocks below,
Threatening to bring your wandering ship back to me.
Your arms, brimming with steel cords of muscle,
Beckon me closer to your absent face.
Your face, etched with tenderness and lines of joy,
Is lost to me now, shrouded by the arms of suitors,
Your face is carved into the skies of the horizon,
The cruel Sun, my unforgiving warden, blinding me with rays of your tears,
The gentle strains of your voice, lost in the howling of winds,
Will only reach me as you do.
The great expanse of Poseidon keeps you captive,
Your desires quenched by the unforgiving depths of the sea.
Cruel gods will have vengeance yet, it seems,
Threatening our vows of marriage every day increasing.
The soft patter of your footsteps leaving 20 long years ago,
Have long since given way to the suitors’ realm.
As circumstances collide to keep us apart,
Our homely palace, walls broken with sorrow, weeps in your absence.
Great rolling hills of Ithaca derived of its livestock,
Shine with dew of the morn and tears of the eve.
For the ghosts search for you, but to no avail.
As you fight the cruelty of Poseidon himself,
Think of me, my love; I am waiting.
Clash Royale: The New Clash of Clans?
Clash Royale, made by Supercell (who is also the creator of the bestselling games Clash of Clans, Boom Beach and Hayday), was recently released worldwide. Within days of coming out, the freemium game was at top of the list for both “most downloads” and “top grossing” on the App Store. The most remarkable part of the game is the fact that its release came with virtually no errors, glitches or problems of any sort.
So what makes Clash Royale special? Featuring a mix of Clash of Clan’s troops and abilities and real-time, one-on-one battling, …Royale is a perfect mix of two worlds. Clash of Clans is an attack-and-defend game in which online players attack the bases of offline players. With Clash Royale, however, you get the same troops as in Clash of Clans, but you are able to have live, real-time online battles with people all over the world by playing cards, similar to the popular game Hearthstone in this respect.
The object of the game is to destroy the opposing player’s base through strategic outplays.
Both the enemy’s base and yours consists of two forts that are strategically placed to protect your castle (similar to the town hall in Clash of Clans but more so to the headquarters in Boom Beach in function); you get a star for destroying each one of the opposing player’s structures. The player who has more stars at the conclusion of the three minute match is declared the winner. A player is also immediately victorious if he or she destroys the other player’s castle; it is not required to win the match, however. In the event of a tie, the game goes into a sudden-death, one minute overtime. If the game is still tied at the end of the overtime, the match is declared a tie.
A player deploys troops by funneling them through two possible paths, each of which leads to the opposing players’ forts. Defenses, such as cannons and x-bows, will randomly appear in an attempt by the other player to destroy your troops. There are also spells that can be used. You deploy troops over the course of the battle based on the cards you draw and the amount of elixir you have stockpiled over the course of the match.
At the end of the battle, you receive a reward (in the form of a chest) that gives you troop upgrades and new cards to make your attacks even stronger. Combining Clash of Clan’s strategy and live gameplay, Clash Royale gives you everything you want. That’s what makes this game so great! Now go to the App Store, download the game and have fun!
Lion’s Roar Staff
JT Gallant ’16 is a Senior at SLHS and enjoys participating in athletics, contributing to the Lion’s Roar and playing chess.
Avalee Fray-McCroskey ’17 is a junior at Seattle Lutheran High School. She likes to spend her weekends cheering, acting, writing things for the amazing school newspaper and changing into her alternate persona, an amazing punk rock SUPERHERO!! Every time she changes her hair she gets a new superpower!
Ben Comer is a Junior who just learned that the keys on a keyboard make strange symbols appear on the monitor. He is in awe of this and has yet to write anything meaningful using this discovery instead writing some of what you see above you. His favorite pastimes are watching sports, swimming and yelling at Derrick Rose every time he gets injured (his throat is often sore).
Elizabeth Coy is a senior at Seattle Lutheran High School and this is her first year writing for the newspaper. She also plays volleyball, is in the Key Club, and the Sailing Club.
Zac Gorman, also known as “Gac Zorman,” this writer enjoys talking about the media such as the newest movies, interesting stories, and even reviews and opinions. He has respect for the film business as he wishes to one day write for Hollywood or low-key be a director of his own stories; bringing pen to paper, then paper to the big screen.
Alex Melchoir is a self-proclaimed bounty hunter and space cop from the Galaxy of Kerbal-49. He enjoys long walks on the beach with middle aged women who find investing in his endeavors worthwhile. Currently, he resides in West Seattle. Alex claims to be a protagonist in a movement to preach equity. He plans on building a globalized, monopolistic, empire and redistributing the world’s wealth rightfully.
Aaron Pena is a seventeen-year-old with the same carnal urges as the rest of you. He has lived his whole life in Seattle, though he’s from a Mexican family (he even knows how to speak Español). His hobbies include League of Legends, binge-watching Netflix, reading, figuring out how to make school more of a challenge through procrastination, and sitting. Aaron loves talking about controversial topics because it’s quite entertaining to see people all fired up.
Michael Scott is 14, a Freshy at Seattle Lutheran High School, his favorite hobby is soccer. He also has a fondness for Skittles as they are very rainbow-like, and who doesn’t like rainbows?! His favorite fruit happens to be pineapple, any flavor. Personally he doesn’t like being woken up on weekends by dad. (Does this ever happen to any of you?) He puts on pants one leg at a time and thinks the meaning of life is to interact, and lucky numbers are 01, 43, 67, 90, 28.
Rex Sears is a sophomore, and is not commonly seen outside of a coat. He really doesn’t do anything productive, despite all his free time. It is most common to see him complaining about politics, comics, creepy pastas, and really the most minor of daily complications. He is incapable of not injuring himself on something, and over-dramatizing said event, at least seven times a day.
Faculty Advisor Mr. Wilson